Volume One Ending

 There is an option in my arsenal that I can actually heal my pain that has come out and talk myself through what has happened to me.  Especially with the part that was waiting around from the last time we tried to get through these "situations" and remain intact. 

From what I understand it led to a near destruction before dad woke up or I did. Still have yet to check all the details of what happened. In an attempt to avoid the repeating of that fate. 

I am still around. They are still around. 
I worry about endangering even myself.

I need to remind me that I am worth me. 
That I am worth someone and worthy as a someone. 

There is a constant degrade of feeling from feeding here like there was on the planet before Venus ruined it. Like I started this story with recounting, that place was a totalitarian style sexfest that I refused to partake in.
It drove the entity starting it insane and me with the fact that she wouldn't relquish her hold on people. 
After someone molesting me most of my life, I finally died and popped out.
"Never again," I screamed as a woman before ever considering shape shifting to a male.
The accident that resulted in a permanent sex change was an accident, but even before that first time considering it I had to worry about the consequences of what that thing Venus would try to do to me. 
She had an idea of order when it came to other people's private lives and even sex training classes.
It was revolting, and I revolted.
I said, "No one will know how I make love, and it will change with each partner or moment."
Never did I fathom finding someone to do it all with, I just was picky as a woman there. Most of my time was spent a lone and happy to be a lone. 
It drove the thing Venus insane, "Why not just show what you can do?" She would say as if love making were that weak and unwanting contestation.
"I'll just masturbate." I replied. "I've gotten to be an expert of me. Why would I want someone make it a study? I wouldn't." 
She was relentless.
"What woman, what man, what this, what that?" 
"None of them." I would scream, then her animosity would start up against me, nearly destroying any pair bonding I attempted, "What is she doing, how did she do it."
With each answer I backed away. 

I had made a mistake with wraith's sister but did not expect this life to ever echo that mistake.

But (sure enough as I had warned) that a part of a previous me from that plane trying to manifest is repeating the fate that befell that planting. 

Now it looks like we are almost to where we were on Venus, or "the beginning of the end" as I called it there.

We will need to tred softly, for the few hearts that are still natural will be tender and exposed to a lack of understanding in self or sexual privacy. They are vital to there being a natural sexual intimacy. 

Those on the other side of the spectrum will be hungry to destroy what we have.

Hungry to destroy who we are.