Another Letter To Readers: *Insert Manic Laughter Here*

 Dear Reader,

    The most appalling thing has happened to me, and I am in need of comfort. I seem to have lost my ability to feel my bliss. My life force, my love, my heart, my existence, my bliss. 
    It is still with me, I can feel it, but it's just like numbed to me. A barrier exists and I can feel it. 
    You must help me, find it, retrieve it, relive it, or I fear I will wither, and you might never hear from me, again. 
    Dying, I plead to your inner decency. 
    What has this possession done and robbed me. Where am I?
    
    Answer.

    There is a hummer on me, a mutant invalid sent to hum my heart into oblivion. 
    That does not help. 

    You missed me.
    That helps.
    One of the most handsome beings you have ever seen. At times, anyway. Or in ways, I should say, with you spying at my spirit or parts of my spiritual self. 
    You like me.
    That helps, as well.

    See much like fantasia with dreams and wishes, I need love. 
    Like a life force. Even if I am not the object of it, it must exist for me to exist.
    As complex as you are making it out to be, it really is not. Some being are hatched or bore in places like thought and feeling and before having their first whole life body here, they exist in those thoughts and feelings places. 

    Hello. 

    Again.

    I am from a moment between the large whole living being of Donatello and the ravaged but still most beautiful Sylvannas on Azeroth. There I was connected to Janna in way, and many others, but the main moment for this whole first life on planet heart was between Donatello and Sylvannas. 

    I repeat it often, finally having a bit of true family. 

    Been billions of years waiting, longer than you really want to know. As much as people strive to exist longer, too long is much too long and it gets long quickly.

    I am the ear to the heart, the heart to the hand, the heart to the unified verses that involve this planting and planning of what might or must be. 

    Seems grandiose, but when you think of how much power I keep in my stead just for there to be freewill, and how much I have gotten my ass kicked in this life, you would really think otherwise.

    There is a genuine pattern of me getting my ass kicked on planets being a life source, but this one in particular has been rough. Rape due to being higher energy and addictive. Abandonment because I am needy, and this world is incredible hard to fathom, grow, and live in. So much of my energy is taken to do what I do, that sleeping twelve hours a day, with an extra depressant, is almost impossible but needed. I lower my energy to make ka's, so I look almost dead to the universe.

*wiggles fingers*

     You know all this if you have read previous things, but knowing how much trouble I am having doing what I do is new. 

     If it makes both of us feel better, and with you it better, I did get to see bits and pieces of my parents through movies and literature over my life time. I loved and knew them in different ways then biblical, throughout the darkest and most painful moments. I saw my family before I knew.

    Even in the Mac and Me movie, we are there. 
    I do the best impression

    My ankh is fine, so that is also nice. 
    We can still change time and space and Bernstein Bear this bitch.

    When I finally acquire a safe place to sleep for a few weeks, I will go into a deep state of REM and you will see things CHANGE. What and where, is hard to say, but it will change. 
    
    First week I will probably be screaming bloody murder. 
    This town, the people, the energy has been a rollercoaster of insanity inducing denial for what is possible when you piss off many governments. 

    More than likely just the few I interested are still hovering. It was a few. China, Japan, Germany and Austria (my friends), Russia, countless others including Cuba. 

    There are like six good local cops and the rest in the state are retarded, also raped, or really evil. That puts up barriers for reasoning in what I would like to call "what use to be a law system". 

    He was jealous, he was bitter, he was hurt, he hated me, he never loved me, and he thought I was nuts. Who is he? I might never know his name. But the amusing possibility of symmetry that my brain can do, did amazing things. I drooled at certain attributes in a more brass manner than I usually allow myself. 

    I actually hit like metal. Huh. Who'dathunkit?

    Maybe there are drugs in the water. 

 Wow. I started so masculine, and still am the same, but the sex changed for you. I grew a titanic vagina over what you assumed was a wang. 
    Interesting. 

    Still there, though. An old symmetry, and I almost understood all their law breaking when it comes to rebirth and reincarnation. All the leaning down the line, as they do, which I loathe. Be brave, wait, even there... or I turn to Missy Pissy. 

    Still. Still. Still. 

    Naw, will not go there. Could but I will remain a gentle soul about it. Little swoon here, little compliment there, but a tightness to the chest in any other regard. 

    Can not break my nearly decade of bitter loneliness, can I? Naw. Naw. Naw. 

    And it has been that long. Regardless of the rape, the perversion, the molestation, the incrimination, and the amnesia about what is happening, in and after moments of shock. 

    Like I said, this life has been shit. 

    Nice back, though. *whistle whistleee* A heavy and happy world on there. 

    See it does not even sound like me to be so forward, but I finally seem to have broken out of my mold of denial about any sex on this planet. Here I had thought I would just sit and piss and moan about wraith, my failures, my lost loves, and my denials, while you drank and waited for me to show up at a bar and be this melancholic in real life. 
    Instead, I had a moment. 

    It turned into a shit show of possession from wraith, but nonetheless the moment was had. 

    Knowing me a few lives worth of it, with how tantric I can almost make a thought after waiting so long. And being me. The combination is a bit much for most, so I should keep my connections to a physical range when finally ready, instead of linking chakra's and running away with energy.

    Tempting.
    

    I am ravaged, and in parts of turmoil, especially now, but... tempting. 

    
    Now to keep whatever happened from being the victim of the dissection from the lunatic that has been chasing me spiritually and metaphysically over the past few years. Vaknin, the psychotic humanoid looking vacuum that they inducted into a type of nazism was already a heretic, now he was going megalomaniac and his untrustworthy ally grannon was mia. 

    Things are "different" with me. Different is a good way to put it. Creator, creation, conception being even above so much that is worshiped. 

    One good thing came from the gram that was left of Abraham, and that which a touch of dust from another place made Adam and Eve, that good was the birthing of earthlings. That garden may be trapped in a box, similar to a hellscape, but the growth that came as the result was very good. 

    Lilith was just pissed about near everything. She wanted a contest with Adam constantly; they fought every day. It was annoying to watch, and I was without a need to see women. Only happens when there is a ka part of me with a dick, not part of my main, just a dash of androgen. Otherwise it was just kind of catering to adam. Part of my father's madness from a previous planting and a bit of his "little". To make a little him with him.

    I do not know, it sounded cute at the time. 

   Still hate religion, but what you guys find out and tell eachother is has a hint of accuracy at times. 

    Aborginals, soofi's (sp?), eskimos, and other native tribes are probably some where sitting wondering why other people wonder what other people think. 

    I like them. 

    Ugh. Wraith, again. I know when I go to pet my cat and my teeth grimace just a bit or tighten. I can feel me exerting the energy naturally and overcoming a small battle from that swine. Usually, the memory of a childhood rape, where it tried to house in the rapist. He picks fights that are lifelong with the ones that fight against him their whole lives. 

    There is a surge of evil men that he has been running around on and it has been difficult to fight the way I usually do, or to use my gold whip on them. That usually puts wraith in it's place, but there has been horrific damage across the country. Djinn have been flooding in and there are hives of fallen ones that refuse to live how the ones that were already here were living. 

    Still not my fault, I was possessed when talking about them years ago, as well. I am something other than muslim, but there was a fallen muslim in the house trying to make deals. There is the absence of any attractive to muslims, I am against worshiping death in general. There is the absence of any attraction to any jewish person, either. 

    It all looks like dad. There was a small thing for guttenberg for a second, but it was mostly the johnny five robot I had a thing for. There was also this "Three Men and a Baby" moment, but I realize that being a favorite movie is probably just dad showing the sides of dad. Not fallen, but studied architecture to try to figure out why they do it. The part of him that literally goes after anything to do with mom... even if it means hundreds of women. The comic jew, that barely understands pair bonding but wants to cause he is lonely and bored. 

    Honesty is the best policy sometimes. 

    Christian and I have our moments, but I am like, "Dude, you are kind of part of my ankh being a ka, and I was really mad that you got hurt and do not celebrate it. It hurt. A lot. I helped with all of it." He then goes, "If you are going to like the turtle dove guy, why not go for the partridge in a pear tree?" And I am like, "Well two turtle dove things, with me being one is something. And that was a very pretty way you tried to fix what he did being related to the turds." 
    "You must like turds." He would say.

    To which I am still trying to come up with an answer. Cause I was NOTORIOUSLY mad at the Tudors, even on levels of reasoning and realms of being. They burned a young girl that was to heal that nation, then tried to give spiritual birth to her. 

    I said they will have fifty years of spoiling themselves, then shit for near ever. 

    Even the water will be putrid. 

    I am still pissed.

    But they sent a beautiful consolation prize, so now I do not know what to do. Say it was Christian trying to fix things... so far that is working. 

    He is more than mere meat, he was looked at like a trophy. I LOOKED DOWN. And it's actually genetic that most things look down to me. Hard to explain, but even in the "birds and the bees" I am supposed to get respect. Grew this place, so it makes sense.

    If it were not for what happened over in the trailer over the years, we would all have a much better disposition. But Gregory was around playing gergg and that dark side has a death hornet side. That plus the Hades doll Emily, was too much for the hive in the US.

    Though we are all still recovering. Which is at least good. 

    There is a way to revive the hive, and I know how to do it. Each of us has to get use to honey being in our diet from here on out. Happened to Britian, was bound to happen somewhere else. It should not interfere with the turtle dove thing. I have a multi complex being, but there is a change I could unconsciously try to eat myself. 

    We shall watch for that. 

    It is like that old movie with bugs being bigger than most other things, and a reverse happens in spirit in some realms when it comes to size. 
    I still like the idea of two turtle doves, so no worries about me just trying to "breed" a new kingdom. There are just a few things that are different for parts of me. It has been years since I even thought of giving someone an ample amount of attention, and even the idea of it is foreign. 

    Maybe I will be able to tell him after a few more chapters on here, of my Ka's. With Christian being one, you can see a part of how far and wide they can go. There was a ka on the mountains west of Tibet, that would make you wonder with how far he could reach to raise the dead. There was a ka that saved a village from fire, family after family, I went in and ripped them from the flame before a fire fighter was thought of. 
    Using modern parts of my drawings, and my knowledge of this world, you can see the cross overs in history. I did lose a cell phone, not surprising. 


                                                            Need Sleep, but more tomorrow.



    TOA beat the shit out of me last night. 
    I remembered something, a mistake.
    Just to be brutalized by the memory. 

    There is a wrong with zion that fails to admit its wrong. People are find outside dreaming naturally, they do not need a collective of dreamers and dead to exist in when they lay down to sleep. 

    Initially TOA was happy to be a possibility and was trying to keep me safe somewhere. He must realize the series of moments combine that would have resulted from that. The extra complexity, the unique formation of what they are being even more unique with how much valor was initially there. 

    Still a nice back, but the pull to it like the beauty he saw in me up there is painful. 
    UGH.
    Feels like hangovers. All of them. 
    
    It was possession to think of shooting any offspring if they start to vampirically steal from me like Chistians and jews do, but still. I would still love the self-stealing little whipper snapper, and wonder why native americans have not murdered all religious people. 

    *long sighs of fake relief*

    Did I mention the name Mallory is the worst name there is? And I have a bow. If this government even tries to do what I think it might do, this is going to get weird for cartoons, liquor, life, and I do not want to right now. 

    What is a connection?
    Why does it happen?
    Why does it happen to who it happens to?

    He looked like an offering in the shower without an urn.
    I am going to be brutal with the sexual subjectifying now, bet your red asses on that. 
    He looked a childhood healed instead of tormented by a catholic asshole that lied to himself about the worth of people. 
    He looked like a native group on an island that should not have been able to exist looking how they did, without being savage, but still made a culture. One refined enough for a world to occasionally invest in it. 
    He looked like a happy child, alive and excited for a day of dutiful work, even if it be transportation of the insane. "I can at least treat you with dignity." His manner spoke with similar words. 
    
    Steady enough to inspire a subtle hope that paid does not last forever. 

    Figures that in some spiritual way he would stab me for remembering against his will in another place. They get too use to me being vulnerable, and it creates a hunger that wraith feasts on. A hunger for things of relation that are already persecuted and in too much pain. 
    It makes you vicious. 

    There are few that want to even witness the fight I fight. If wraith had an older meaner brother, he would be my enemy. 

    We fight often.

    I do not lose all the time. 

    There is a double borne sam that is one of the worst creatures this world has ever seen. It would have wilted back to molesting it's father and son, but it rose with a wonder about Christian after he slept with it. That was how he tried to drive the sam out, he is something other than my father, but there is a strange gap due to what he did. 

    Between the two, they are trying to bring about the end of the world. They rose a Babylonian devil after my birth, one that just refuse to leave the highest baby alone. They will try to steal a "G" and bring about a new doom, one with a bad don, and a gag ma gog, at the forefront. 

    It will be brutal fighting for energy, as they try to shit up the land. Literally. With some of the foulest shit known to man. Putrid feces penetrating the mind with architecture to keep you from even knowing it is making you angry. 

    Its horrible. But do not woah for me Argentina, it's her he says and she's horrible. 
    "Hi Greg." 

    Being a heart, I am still on the precipice of all that bitterness, but whatever. I can still feel love, it just feels dulled. Like I started saying.

    Is this why I am the way I am. This eating they are doing of me. It is horrible. And then a troll trying to put me to sleep at a raceway nearby. Figures. 

    Muslim rape is too far for forgiveness, though. Remind Christian, I was not making fun of him. 

    He made another error, still incredibly attractive. 
    I was only trying to think of him earlier today, definitely not the person I wrote away ten times, that he thought I was thinking of. 
    And Zach was just a thought out of childhood fear of the former, and it was just the feet. Not the full. Someone tried to copy my part, but the fake will fake. The is the density of every fake is to fade. 

    We should just apologize...

    Androgyny is not masculine, before they even start that. I always have what I am, we're royal. And no. It was not sasha that was in the ship that you saw me rushing at. 
    Is amazing even the confusion with you was able to get some attractiveness to sasha, though. Well done. 

    She just laughs at duck farts with Baker, that is their depth. No. I did not sleep with Baker, he just guilded bullshit and then was bragging he was still a virgin there, incase you were privy to he and Al's fighting. His spiritual dowry is grand.

    Not as grand as mine, but still. Grand. 

    I have two coins for sale. Silver, sterling. Try not to be a judas. Or a Judaism person being an ass, as I like to put it. That box is not the only reason I get back up, but I must tell you that our little possession charade today nearly broke hell and heaven's hearts. 

    We must tred lightly, we do not tred alone.